I could not imagine what I have created up till now back in those early months. Until I started choosing little things along the way that turned into these photos, so much was unknown and scary - here’s my celebration of creating with others through these pics - many of which I’ve never posted.

What a journey with a lots of growth through ups n downs. Grateful for so many experiences and people. I reckon I’ve done alright.

Today’s as an anniversary is always a celebration to be alive and creating an interesting and mostly great life. Usually with parents for dinner and always 2 phone call/messages from mum and a family friend who always remember. So today we celebrated with epic adventure up Cape Foulwind (on West Coast) track with super girl helpe/friend Laurane not with a break-yer-neck party but shared a cupcake with a couple of nice travellers.

So much gratitude to mum, dad, sisters, brother, family, friends, healers, teachers, facilitators, healers, rugby and sport community and everyone along the way who’s contributed to allow me to be me and live a pretty cool life.

Pics start from that time 35 years ago as it was at Te Awamutu Rugby Sports of 1st XV trial game to the early pics, very few photos of me as teenager, and the ups n downs of health, injury and life successes and fun and some recent adventures.

I recall clearly today the 7-3-84. At 16, I was very fit from a summer of running our bush and steep hills as well as farm work and over 4000 bales of hay on farms that summer.

Im aware now that I had a sense months before something was being created. This is first time I’ll share this in wider forum. I tell this to some people - who ask what do you remember of day and in talks I do - about feeling weird and almost viewing my ride on bus to field from outside my body or as movie. I played as hooker in front row and although this was a trial I had been lucky to go on first XV tour of Australia at end of previous year in 5th form so was not feeling pressure. Then all day every scrum collapsed because of the laws at the time. We stood back over a metre from opposing pack so when we came into “hit” there was little hope we could hold scrum up. On the hit of the scrum I am aware I caught the spot poorly and my neck dislocated. The sense down my spine was actually nice. I now know I left my body to not feel pain. I knew immediately I’d broken my neck then while I was blacked out 8-10 seconds, or the time it took other guys to stand up, I saw about a 5-10 minute movie of me in a wheelchair in the future. I had a sense of a question being asked of me after the movie that was something like “so are you going to do this” to which I agreed. I then came to, fully aware my body was paralysed and life was to be in a wheelchair. I was to find out the reality wasn’t the ease it looked in my video. I clearly recall a few mates standing over me and clearly a good mate Steve who I’m still friends with and in regular contact who was pushing on my hip as a lock. I lay a wee bit twisted on ground and became aware of others distress and shock. I basically started directing my care by saying don’t move me and call and ambulance. My other big recall was as spectators came over my two good friends Carolyn and Carolin stood looking at me and crying a little. I chatted saying I was going to be alright and would be in hospital a while and could they come visit.

Then the ambulance journey to Waikato hospital. A great friend had to go find my mum at tennis courts and someone got dad at golf club. Mum met me at Waikato hospital for waiting and x-rays then long slow ambulance with mum to middlemore hospital in Auckland. I didn’t tell mum what I knew. I knew it was shock enough. That evening I was to have skull traction screwed in head under general anaesthetic. By this time I was bored and hungry, very aware of medical staff doing their job and for surgeons that was not to say much about prognosis so my awareness met piss-take humour. I asked the surgeon whether I would ever be able to play the piano well. He said I might play the piano well, I might not play at all. It was too early to tell. I said that’s so great because I could never play piano well now. A quick transition to put me under followed and there began my way of getting through boredom and new life of very dependant.

Much later I heard stories of how family, friends and community lives were affected with the reactions from that day and beyond. Some stories show it was very hard on people. I want to speak to all those people affected by my injury. Through my consciousness classes and awareness work I can tune into peoples shock and emotions/feelings they still have of hearing, seeing or dealing with my injury. Some have very little there to release or have released. I’m aware as I meet some of players and friends and family that their world and body still hold energies of shock, trauma, reaction, emotion and more. One extreme is a player watching the scrum go down starts shaking at quivering in shock as he talks about seeing this even 32 years after the moment . Also a good friend happened to turn up to incredible healing, release session of mine recently saying she held nothing but as we talked using my trauma/shock release tools the tears and release came. Even when she said at the time she also knew I would be fine.

Why am I talking about this?I know from many conversations to people over the years people had varying reactions and human experiences that they can recall years later. The energies stayed there with many. I contribute to release for some. Others close off. My invitation - to all those who heard about my injury or were there - is to open the door to that space and energies and everything locked in at that time and just choose to let it go at the point it was created. I can contribute to clearing if you choose. I wonder if you’d like to unlock anything and let it go. It can release for us both. Maybe it’s relavant for other traumas and upsets of other people. I actually feel the releasing in people as I type.

I don’t feel sorry for myself but might be weird to say I’m grateful for all the creations along the way - great and tough - for the awareness and capacities for healing and change I now have for myself and others. We all have capacities and contributions.

There’s much more awareness along my journey and maybe this is chapter 1 of sharing the bigger story.

I’ll finish with this. The world is full of many kind, caring people. I had to learn to ask for help and learn to receive. I needed to re-commit to living or die slowly. I bloody well demanded to have fun and enjoy my life. So I celebrate life on this planet with so much contribution from so many people with much gratitude. Many, many people. The constant, ever present care from my phenomenal mum from hour 1 of this tetraplegic life and so many family, friends and people along the way. I know living my life has inspired others as they’ve told me even years later. It’s just being me and living.

Since consciousness tools came my way I’m happy how I can contribute with words and energetically. So every photo you see of an adventure or sport or journey there’s has been at least 1-10 or more helpers/contributors on that day or even more. We all get something out of it. The world is not I, it’s we. Much Gratitude

Thanks for reading if you still here. I wonder what is possible now that we never imagined?

My epic South Island biking/adventure adventure tour continues with my track and trail Accessibility project. Come with me by clicking these links and following Adventures With That Guy Ross On Facebook, Instagram and You Tube.

Otago Rail Trail March 17-23 if you wanna come. Hopefilully West Coast Wilderness Trail tomorrow if rain stops. 

Article added: Saturday 09 March 2019